Tuesday, May 28, 2013


What I’ve been doing isn’t working very well.

I’m consumed with stress.

I spend too much time worrying, working.

It is seriously affecting who I am, who I want to be.

Change is frightening.

But it is time.

It is time to focus on my family, our health and our happiness.

I can do this.

It’s time to be strong.

It’s time for my voice to be heard.

It’s time to take charge and be me.

Saturday, November 24, 2012


My life has been incredibly chaotic.  At least I think so.  Work has been busy, I've taken on a role at the boys school that has taken up more of my time than I expected, and the boys have had all their normal busy sports schedules. I've done some traveling this fall that wasn't normal with a trip to LA to spend some time with my aunt, a trip to Moab to complete a Half Marathon I didn't have time to train for, and a work trip to Milwaukee and a quick one to St. George.  See.  Busy.

But all of this busyness is my choice.  I accept that and I'm not complaining. I'm also not looking for sympathy or trying to find excuses for not writing.  They were simply choices. 

This morning I was reading a blog and came across this letter written by Fiona Apple.  I could not make it past the first paragraph without crying.  It really puts life into perspective and I am thankful for mine, as crazy and chaotic as it is.


~Peace and Joy

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The 5 A’s

I started this week with a great deal of optimism. It has dwindled to the point of not know what to do next, or even wanting to do anything. I can’t seem to figure IT out this week.

My boss, who is an eternal optimist, shared with me this story. It was a great reminder for me as I deal with everything I’m not feeling great about. It’s too good not to share.

(Names have been changed to protect the anonymous )

Back in high school my good friend John wanted to join the football team. John was an exemplary student who ended up being top of our class academically. His father told him that he could play football but that his grades could not suffer.

Report card day came and his dad had a ritual of calling each of his children in the study to review the grades. John invited me to dinner that night. He wanted some support because he had gotten a B+ in Russian and figured his dad would be easier on him with me in the house.

After dinner, John’s dad called him into the study. I heard his dad say, “JOHN! WHAT DO I SEE HERE?” John replied with, “I hope you see the 5 A’s.”

What is the moral of this story? I’ll let you decide.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


The Salt lake Valley was once part of an inland sea. Well, I guess it was really a saltwater lake.

The Great Salt Lake is Lake Bonneville’s remnant. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Salt_Lake
It’s salinity level can reach 25%. By comparison the oceans have an average salinity level of about 3.5%. Not much lives in the GSL besides brine shrimp (sea monkeys). You can’t sink in the lake. I don’t know this from experience though, it is not someplace I’ll be swimming any time soon.

In the middle of the GSL is Antelope Island. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antelope_Island
We, as a family have ventured to Antelope Island a few times, mostly when we have visiting family and a couple of times with school field trips. The island itself is incredible. Mountain Overlooks, Beaches and Prairies. Oh, and did you know there is a herd of Buffalo on the island?

There is a trail in the Salt Lake Valley called the Bonneville Shoreline trail. On the east side of the Valley it marks the highest point of the long gone Lake Bonneville. It is a marvelous stretch to bike and hike. My family decided to hike it last Saturday night to watch the summer sunset.

Oldest has a rock collection. He has been collecting these rocks for a couple of year. They have some interesting shapes and colors. This evening on our hike he announced he wanted to look for fossils. “Great! Go for it! If it makes you Happy!” were my thoughts on that announcement. As we hiked we encountered a rather large beetle, some teenagers on top of the H rock, a dog who was more interested in the scent he was following than us, a women who had moved here from Portland only a few days before and a rock to add to the collection.

Oldest had ventured down to a lower trail. It was very narrow and by my guess not somewhere many people stop and look down at the ground. Many bikes and feet have been over this spot, but not many eyes. Oldest called me down to him, “I Found A Fossil!” I went to look and called to my husband.

Oldest found a fossil! It is either a shell or a plant. I’m leaning toward a shell. We dug the rock out and have added it to the collection. A pretty cool addition for sure!

Friday, June 3, 2011

ARK - Acts of Random Kindness

Sometimes I am amazed at where my thoughts go, but they always take me where I need to be.

The other morning, as I was driving to work, my thoughts went in a direction I wasn’t prepared for. I was feeling down on the fact that I haven’t done much exercise lately. After my marathon, I was burned out, but at the beginning of this year I started going to some group classes. They were hard and I loved the challenge of them. Then, around March, I gave up sugar. I started to feel sick and it lasted a couple of weeks. I don’t know if it was my body protesting no sugar or if it was truly a virus. But I didn’t want to exercise so I didn’t. I’ve started adding exercise back, but not as much as I want.

So I’m driving and all of a sudden I’m crying. I’m sad and embarrassed that my marathon time wasn’t better. What? Why this? Why now? It was an amazing accomplishment. I was proud of it, wasn’t I? Damn PMS!

I pulled into my coffee place (Cafe Expresso on 900 S and 1100 E.) I love that place. I know all of them, not really by name, but I see them regularly, they remember my drink and always have a smile.

Now, I go to this place at least once a week, and I’ve had my 26.2 sticker on the window for 6 months, but this was the first morning that anyone asked me about it. My coffee friend asked me if I had done a marathon. Why this morning?

All of a sudden, I’m proud of my accomplishment again. Thank you. Thank you. We talked about it for a minute and then she was off to the next customer and I was off to work feeling good about me. It could have made me feel worse, if I would have let myself go there, but I didn’t. Kindness must be acknowledged.

You get what you need, when you don’t expect it, but you have to be open to accepting it.

Have you experienced an ARK lately that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear about it.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Oh Baby!

Yesterday I got to spend a couple of hours alone with Littlest. We went to the bookstore to get a couple of books. Littlest wanted to get a Chuggington book with his birthday money and I wanted to get Mr. Popper's Penguins to read to the boys before the movie comes out later this month.

Our conversation in the car going to the bookstore went something like this.

Littlest - Where are we going?
Me- To the bookstore.
L- Where is it?
M- You know where Barnes and Noble is.
L- Across the street from Oh Baby.
M- Where?
L- Across the street from Oh Baby
M- Old Navy?
L- No, Oh Baby!
M- Oh Baby?
L- Yes!

Love that kid! XO

By the way Mr. Popper's Penguin is a great book.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

May I?

May I tell you how much I am looking forward to summer? This year has been crazy and chaotic. Having kids at two different schools made for a huge challenge when trying to coordinate who needed to be where and at what time and who was taking them. Also having them both at co-oping schools made the challenge even bigger. Add on being 1 million miles, ok only about 1500 miles, from the nearest family member didn’t make it any easier. HEY! WHERE’S MY VILLAGE? Next year they are both at the same school. HOORAY! There will still be challenges, but they seem more manageable, at least they do now, ask me again in the fall.

May I tell you how much I am looking forward to summer? Oldest is participating on swim team for the first time this summer. We started swim lessons with our boys when they were about 1 year old. My husband started them so early because he was afraid of water and didn’t learn to swim until he was an adult. He didn’t want his kids to miss out on all the fun stuff he did as a kid. We will be spending many hours at the pool this summer. I seriously cannot wait.

May I tell you how much I am looking forward to summer? Vacation! I love spending time with my family in unstructured ways. Ok, so I structure vacation a bit. But we have fun spending time together. The hardest part about being a working mom is when my kids ask why I have to go to work. I give them the right answers and they seem to understand it, but on vacation, I don’t have to go to work. We can spend the whole day together discovering. It’s the absolute best!

May I tell you how much I am looking forward to summer? Sunshine! Where is it? This May has been the rainiest I have known since moving to Utah. Bring on the 90’s and sunshine.

May I tell you how much I love my family? They are the best things that have ever happened to me.

I Love You Guys!